I had a player on my team who rarely spoke the truth to me. She had heard all my speeches on truth being the top of our team value system; yet she still lied to me regularly. It was confusing to me. During that time, I met with Dallas Willard, and I asked him about the subject of lying. He told me when he asked his class ,"Who is a liar?" that no one would raise their hands. But when he asked them, "who has told a lie today?" most all of them would raise their hands. Hmmmm, there seems to be a disconnect here. He told me to ask this player how she felt when someone lied to her. Of course, we both agreed to what her answer would be. Surely she would say that it hurt, she hated it, it made her feel less valued. Her answer surprised me. She simply said, "It doesn't really bother me. No one has ever told me the truth in my life, so I never expect it." Dallas didn't tell me what to say next.

I am a student in Dallas's class. I would tell each of you that I am not a liar. But Jim's opening story really, really spoke to me, as did the rest of the chapter. Although I am not a legalist, I have totally bought in to this truth (ha), and its now like a game to me to speak without spinning or deception. For a southerner that's kinda hard. Can you agree?

1. The statistics on lying (pages105-106) really shocked me. Did they shock you? Can you think of any "harmless lies" you have told in the last day?
2. Jim writes that the 2 things that drive us to lying are 1) fear of what will happen if we tell the truth and 2) our desire for personal gain. Can you give an example of when you told a "harmless lie" out of fear or desire?
3. Reread Matthew 5:33-37. This contrasts what behavior is considered righteous and what is expected of people who live in the kingdom of God. Do you agree that whether you are under oath or not, you can and should tell the truth?
4. "The kingdom does not run on deception." (page 110). I vividly remember when one of my college coaches motivated our team by telling us a lie about what the other coach said about us. It did motivate us. In fact, we won the tournament. Years later, I actually asked the coach if this coach (Kay Yow) had actually said it, as I knew her by then and it didn't fit her character. My coach simply replied, "There is a trophy in the trophy case isn't there? What does it matter?" Have you ever deceived your team to get what you wanted?
5. I love how Jim distinguishes that lying is not about correctness of what a person says, but about the intent of the heart. Think about this. Does this help you understand the definition of lying?
6. Silence is golden exercise vs. a lie free day. It's probably pretty hard for you to do the silence for a day, coach, especially this time of year. I bet you can find little pockets in your day when you can be silent though. And on the weekend, perhaps get up to a few hours. Try it....it has rewards you will reap!

Let's do this! Whoever taught us "sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will never hurt me" was definitely NOT telling the truth! As kingdom coaches, let's really pay attention to our words this week. Encourage your team by speaking truth and kindness. And hope that they can learn to do the same

Keep the Faith

Jane.

P.S. I didn't really have a truth picture. So I posted one of my dog Heaven. Dogs are pretty honest, don't you agree?